Fic: The End Where I Begin
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irishvampire13
Title: 'The End Where I Begin'
Rating: G
Word Count: 577
Claim: River Song; 15 Prompts--Poetry Randomizer
Prompt: #15--All in war with time
Notes/Warnings: None
Summary: Today is the broken link in the chain. The point where it all begins, even as it ends.
Tried to break my heart--well, it's broke
Tried to hang me high, well, I'm choked
Wanted rain on me--well, I'm soaked
Soaked to the skin
It's the end where I begin
~*~ The Script
'The End Where I Begin'
The day that she's been dreading has finally arrived. She knew that it would hurt.
She didn't know that it would hurt this much.
She'd never seen him so young. She wasn't expecting this Doctor. When she sent out her call, she was planning on bow ties and flirting, the sexual tension she's always so enjoyed.
The last thing she could have expected was to find his prior self, all pinstripes and trainers. She could kick herself for being so unprepared. But that's the trouble with loving a man who's worn so many faces: There's no way to tell which face will be there when she shows up.
She's timed it all wrong. She's got the wrong man.
Strictly speaking, this face is, she has to admit, much more handsome in a conventional sense. But there's a lot to be said for familiarity. This isn't the face she fell in love with. From a logical standpoint, he's still the Doctor. Therefore, she still loves him. That will never change.
But it's so difficult to look at the situation logically. It's hard to see past the fact that he's a stranger. He's not yet the man who crashed into her mum's garden. That complicated chain of events is still to come.
Today is the broken link in the chain. The point where it all begins, even as it ends.
Those brown eyes stare at her, masklike and suspicious. She aches for the days when they were--will be--a less-inscrutable green. She could always read her Doctor like a book. But this man...
He's keeping her at a distance, trying to skirt his way around any probable future that might include her. But curiosity is gnawing at him--she can still see that much of her Doctor lingering beneath the skin. He wants desperately to know who the hell she is.
It stabs her to the heart, knowing that he must find that out for himself in time. To tell him now might undo everything that they were/are/will be. That's a risk she can't afford to take. Their timelines have always been a tangled mess. If she reveals her identity now, then it will all unravel.
That cannot be permitted. She cannot undo her past or his future. Despite the darkest days, the danger that lies in store for him, she'd have it no other way. Every moment was worth it.
He was worth it.
No. Not was. Is.
When she punches him, she isn't sure which hurts more: Her fist, or her heart. Doesn't care; he'll go through worse at her hands, so a punch now makes no difference. Besides, it keeps him out of her way.
She did give him a clue, and he jumps on that as he tries to get her to see what he considers reason. God knows whether he's interpreted the hint correctly or not.
She has no way to know. Time will tell, for him. But hers is running out.
It's the last chance she'll ever have to give him what's in her heart. But she can't; it's too soon. This is as close as she can come.
So she gives him what she can: All that love poured into one word. Just one word.
"Spoilers..."
irishvampire13Title: 'The End Where I Begin'
Rating: G
Word Count: 577
Claim: River Song; 15 Prompts--Poetry Randomizer
Prompt: #15--All in war with time
Notes/Warnings: None
Summary: Today is the broken link in the chain. The point where it all begins, even as it ends.
Tried to hang me high, well, I'm choked
Wanted rain on me--well, I'm soaked
Soaked to the skin
It's the end where I begin
~*~ The Script
'The End Where I Begin'
The day that she's been dreading has finally arrived. She knew that it would hurt.
She didn't know that it would hurt this much.
She'd never seen him so young. She wasn't expecting this Doctor. When she sent out her call, she was planning on bow ties and flirting, the sexual tension she's always so enjoyed.
The last thing she could have expected was to find his prior self, all pinstripes and trainers. She could kick herself for being so unprepared. But that's the trouble with loving a man who's worn so many faces: There's no way to tell which face will be there when she shows up.
She's timed it all wrong. She's got the wrong man.
Strictly speaking, this face is, she has to admit, much more handsome in a conventional sense. But there's a lot to be said for familiarity. This isn't the face she fell in love with. From a logical standpoint, he's still the Doctor. Therefore, she still loves him. That will never change.
But it's so difficult to look at the situation logically. It's hard to see past the fact that he's a stranger. He's not yet the man who crashed into her mum's garden. That complicated chain of events is still to come.
Today is the broken link in the chain. The point where it all begins, even as it ends.
Those brown eyes stare at her, masklike and suspicious. She aches for the days when they were--will be--a less-inscrutable green. She could always read her Doctor like a book. But this man...
He's keeping her at a distance, trying to skirt his way around any probable future that might include her. But curiosity is gnawing at him--she can still see that much of her Doctor lingering beneath the skin. He wants desperately to know who the hell she is.
It stabs her to the heart, knowing that he must find that out for himself in time. To tell him now might undo everything that they were/are/will be. That's a risk she can't afford to take. Their timelines have always been a tangled mess. If she reveals her identity now, then it will all unravel.
That cannot be permitted. She cannot undo her past or his future. Despite the darkest days, the danger that lies in store for him, she'd have it no other way. Every moment was worth it.
He was worth it.
No. Not was. Is.
When she punches him, she isn't sure which hurts more: Her fist, or her heart. Doesn't care; he'll go through worse at her hands, so a punch now makes no difference. Besides, it keeps him out of her way.
She did give him a clue, and he jumps on that as he tries to get her to see what he considers reason. God knows whether he's interpreted the hint correctly or not.
She has no way to know. Time will tell, for him. But hers is running out.
It's the last chance she'll ever have to give him what's in her heart. But she can't; it's too soon. This is as close as she can come.
So she gives him what she can: All that love poured into one word. Just one word.
"Spoilers..."
